Don't Be Mad Cause I'm Stylin'

Because I work out of my bedroom when I'm not travelling, I consider any outfit that requires shoes to be dress-up clothes these days. Granted, it's not often that I get to leave the Canton compound which is good, as some of the stuff people are wearing nowadays is downright scary. Not like I'm some sort of fashionista, but I do find some of the outfits worn by folks in our metropolitan areas to be a bit odd. Stuff that annoys me:

1. Short sleeve shirts with ties: Unless you are working for the Geek Squad, suck it up and wear a real dress shirt. I assure you that you're still gonna be roasting in 95 degree weather, regardless of the length of your shirt sleeves.

2. Short sleeve suits: popular with the over 40 set the world over. Nothing screams "I spent $30 on this suit at Kohls" like a lady sporting a bright red short sleeve suit.

3. Capri pants with hooker boots: Shiver me timbers - you look like a pirate! As punishment for wearing something so horrific you can walk the plank in lieu of your 10am nicotine fix.

4. Army BDU's for the paper-pushing soldier (mostly DC): Al-Qaeda may be enemy #1 for the army but I assure you that a dress shirt and trousers are a close runner-up. I know that they're all very excited about their fancy new uniforms but unless one is actually in combat, they do little to flatter one's figure. Perhaps more people would enlist if they were able to wear cuter uniforms?

5. Green "Monsta" Red Sox shirts: I'm sure your friends back in fly-over country get a big kick out of this one. I hope someone steals your wallet, you fucking tourist.

6. Pink shirts on guys: You're not metrosexual, you're probably just an asshole. Go drink your Stella Artois on the opposite side of the bar, please.

7. White socks: If you have to buy any clothing item in a pre-sealed package of 6 then they are to be donned at the gym and the gym only.