I found my perfect gym last week, and on top of the gorgeous facility, they also had a very reasonable cost structure: $15.95 for the first 3 months, $35.95 after that. Zero enrollment fee, one year commitment, offer good until Wednesday, May 27. The negotiations this afternoon:
Sales Lady: I'm so excited you decided to come back!
Pahkcah02: Yeah, well, my membership at Healthworks is up on Wednesday and this seems like the perfect gym for me so I'm pretty excited to get started.
Sales Lady: Great! (shuffling through paperwork). I'm going to ask you to fill out your name and address on this form and then initial next to the fees. You'll owe first and last month's membership, so we would normally take $51.90 this afternoon ($15.95 + $35.95). However, since we do our billing on the 28th, you'll also owe an additional $15.95 for the month of May.
Pahkcah02: Wait, so I'm paying first and last, plus $15.95 for 2 days in May?
Sales Lady: (impressed with my deductive reasoning) Right! So if you're paying by credit card we'll take $67.85 this afternoon.
Pahkcah02: Yeah, I'm not paying $15.95 for a two day month.
Sales Lady: I 100% agree with you, but unfortunately this is just how it works with our billing cycle.
Pahkcah02: Well, then I'll come back on the 29th, after your billing cycle begins for June.
Sales Lady: But then you'll miss our $15.95 three month promo!
Pahkcah02: It's ok, I can probably just get a similiar offer at (name competing local gym).
Sales Lady: My boss is here. Let me see if I can get that waived for you.
(returning 1 minute later)
Sales Lady: Wow! He hardly ever does this but he's willing to waive May's payment if you sign up today.
Pahkcah02: I'm flattered. So what else am I initialing next to?
Sales Lady: Well, (pointing to various parts of the form) this says that you agree to wipe down the equipment after use. This says that you agree that this is a one year commitment, and this is to authorize a $30 fee in January 2010 for maintenance.
Pahkcah02: Maintenance? Isn't that what my monthly fee is supposed to cover?
Sales Lady: (getting kinda annoyed) Well, it's for the equipment and stuff. Hold on (boss walks in).
Boss: I understand you have a few questions about the maintenance fee?
Pahkcah02: Yeah, I don't quite understand it. I pay you $35.95 a month to come here, and on top of that you want to tack on an equipment maintenance fee. That's kinda like going to a restaurant, ordering a $15 meal, and getting a bill with a $5 maintenance fee added on because they brought the food out on a plate.
Boss: I run the nicest gym in this area. See that piece of cardio equipment (pointing to a treadmill)? I paid $9,000 for that! Maintenance fees are standard for all gym memberships, it's just that they're generally buried in enrollment fees. Since I'm not charging you an enrollment fee, I'm actually losing money on your membership. I'm just running this promotion to get people into the door!
Pahkcah02: Sir, I don't doubt that you have the finest gym to ever grace this side of the Southeast Expressway. I simply don't understand why maintenance isn't included in the monthly fee.
Boss: Well, I can't waive it. It's part of our billing cycle. But, if you agree to pay it I'll give you a free t-shirt!
Pahkcah02 (totally not desiring a free $30 t-shirt, but still wicked pissed about the fee): What if I pay the maintenance fee in January and you extend the promo price from 3 months to 4 months?
Boss: (gazing at Sales Lady while making gaga eyes): Just give it to her.
One can only wonder how many Weight Watchers activity points I get from that experience.
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4 comments:
There are so many articles out there about how every gym membership is negotiable during these economic times. Kudos to you for not backing down!
"Sales Lady: Wow! He hardly ever does this but he's willing to waive May's payment if you sign up today.
Pahkcah02: I'm flattered. So what else am I initialing next to?"
Bringing grace and elegance to business transactions since 1980!
hahaha oh my god remind me to bring you along for my next major purchase-- and ps I'll even throw in a $5 fee for your work :)
You crack me up. Good for you for getting it your way. Did you still get the free tshirt in the end as well as the lower price for the 1st three months?
Good luck and hope you stick with it!
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