Distrubing but True

A conversation last night between South Carolina Brandon and myself:

Pahkcah02: Hey, what are you up to?

SCBrandon: My second job's having a Christmas party so I'm driving over there.

Pahkcah02: I didn't know you had a second job. What do you do?

SCBrandon: I work as an EMT at the aquarium.

Pahkcah02: That must be fun. Where's the party?

SCBrandon: At a fish restauarant.

Pahkcah02: Um....don't you find it kind of disturbing that the aquarium is having a party at a fish restaurant?

SCBrandon: Yeah, you know, I never really thought about it. That is kind of disturbing.

Mall Rats

Merely shopping at the mall? That's so blue collar.

According to the Boston Globe's devoted readership of single 40 year old women, social climbers, and perpetual bachelors, living at the mall is the ultimate way to show everyone just how noveau riche you truly are. The new Nouvelle at Natick offers sweeping views of Route 30, not to mention the opportunity to become a regular at the Cheesecake Factory, for a mere 7 figures. However, one cannot possibly put a price on the fact that by living at Nouvelle you will never have to hob-nob with commoners who simply cannot fathom just how ridiculously rich and successful you've become since your days at Needham High.

Remember the good old days when people got rich the old fashioned way? There's something to be said for being born into or marrying money. I really respect the way that Boston Brahmins live in multi-million dollar brownstones and shut the fuck up about it. Everyone knows they're loaded - no need to make a federal case out of it. Rather than complain that the bar scene (surprise!) is full of 20 years olds who actually work for a living, they drink and fraternize at exclusive country clubs. Here's the most admirable part though: at some point (perhaps between Brae Burn and the Pru) they are forced to encounter people who may not be of equal means. Maybe they're spied on a street corner begging for change or perhaps they're spotted making a coffee through pane glass of a Dunkin Donuts. Either way, they are not completely segregating themselves from society by living, shopping, dining, dating, mating, and socializing in an upscale mall.

Not like I had anything to do with it, but I'm pretty proud of the fact that I live in one of the few area of the country that wasn't bombarded with exclusive gated communities during the recent housing boom. While I'm certainly in no position to tell other people how to spend their cash, opting out of a society that in your mind doesn't measure up shouldn't even be on the table. The Nouvelle at Natick is obviously hitting a specific demographic and for a diverse, inclusive community like Natick that should be a very alarming thing. A lot of these folks would be better off in a place where money truly does buy happiness (such as Miami) than holing up in over-priced condo bunkers that this area certainly doesn't need.

Ode to Antonio's

Thank goodness in the eyes of most Bostonians, Providence might as well be Nashville. Otherwise I might spend another decade or two hitting up Antonio's on Thayer Street after frequenting sleepy Providence joints.

Antonio's in Providence is a far cry from the North Pleasant Street flagship. At 11:30pm on a Saturday there was no line or any sign of a club sidewalk emerging. There was, however, piles of chicken 'n bleu cheese, tortellini, and taco pizza, which was drew us there in the first place. For any former UMass Amherst student, Antonio's is symbolic of four (or five or six) years of good times and memories. Unfortunately it is seen as just another pizza outpost for the southern New England yokels.

For some reason Bostonians are weary of pizza-by-the-slice joints. Pizza is seen as a group activity, one that requires topping compromise, and even then you never know exactly what you're going to get. Antonio's serves up huge, NY style slices, with enough topping combinations to make a Harvard statistician cry. Best of all you can get what you want without having to cave to your vegetarian/carnivore/lactose intolerant friend - and it's all less than $4.

Instead of developing another over-priced, new American fusion bistro, the Boston dining scene would be drastically improved with an Antonio's type restaurant. Afterall, I'm easily amused, and watching native Bostonians snap at indecisive diners would likely provide me with hours of non-stop entertainment. Wings has already flown over Brookline and Somerville....does this town have room for another 413 dive? Me thinks so.

Coming to terms with Stoughton

Ever since she got back from Iraq, S/Sgt Jenn has become really nostalgic. Tomorrow Stoughton is playing Canton in the annual powder puff (girls football) game and she somehow convinced me to go. She wanted to drag me along to the pep rally as well but that's pushing it a bit too far I think.

I grew up in Stoughton and like most kids who grew up in mid-sized suburbs, I hated almost every minute of it. I served my four year sentence as a Black Knight, juggling my time between sports, hanging out at Applebee's, and waiting for mom to pick me up at the South Shore Plaza. Before leaving for college the furthest I had ever been in my entire life was Long Island. Like most of my classmates I was a fairly ignorant if not over-confident kid with a thick South Shore accent who was scared shitless of leaving it all behind.

It's been almost 10 years since I walked across the stage to collect my diploma and move on with what I assumed would be the rest of my life. As my father correctly predicted, I managed to lose touch with just about everyone I was associated with for the first 18 years of my life. Since I am local I do manage to run into people every once in a while and I'm always surprised to hear them reflect back on high school with the same passive tone that I often share.


We all somehow managed to survive our childhood in a place called "ToughTown" and 10 years later I am finally ok with that. I am proud of the fact that I grew up hanging out with the children of teachers, doctors, immigrants, and policemen. I'm proud to have grown up in one of the only truly affordable communities south of Boston, making it a magnet for families of every color, race, ethnicity, and social class. The people skills and street smarts I acquired in the halls of the Stoughton public schools simply can't be taught in a classroom.

I've Myspace stalked some of the people from my class and everyone seems to be doing well, which I'm genuinely happy about. People have gone off to get advanced degrees, start families, and serve their country. Some of them still call 02072 home while others turned away and never looked back.

Despite my new Bulldog zipcode, I'll be silently rooting on the Knights with S/Sgt Jen at tomorrow's game. High school during the mid-90's was certainly a confusing time but looking back it really wasn't that traumatic. While I certainly have no desire to move back to Stoughton and spend my Friday nights hanging out at the Town Spa as a full-blooded townie, I'm definitely capable of attending a high school powder puff game for a couple of hours. As a participant in the 1997 victory over Canton, I think that this time around I can finally get closure.

Welcome to Boston, eh?

As an avid Boston Herald reader, I am both delighted and amused with the daily Inside Track updates on celebrity sightings around the Hub. Our local pols have been rolling out the red carpet with tax breaks galore in order to convince Hollywood producers to shoot their films in greater Boston. The New York Times penned an article this Saturday about the new Pink Panther movie being shot here. Boston is briefly mentioned in the third paragraph, calling us out as the new "Toronto" of the film industry.

Besides shutting down streets, re-routing traffic, and making the 22nd largest city in the United States feel way more important than it probably is, shooting films in Boston does absolutely NOTHING for our economy in the long run. When was the last time you met a tourist who's main reason for visiting the Hub of the Universe was based on the fact that Mystic River was filmed here? Alternatively, when was the last time you travelled to Toronto to check out the streets where Man of the Year was filmed?

Blockbuster films may be glamorous but bringing in industries that hire workers on a temporary basis should not be an economic goal. While I am all for films being filmed in the Hub, their tax breaks and lobbying efforts should take a back seat to drawing in (non-gaming) industries that can hire full-time workers throughout the entire Commonwealth. It's only a matter of time until another city offering even better tax breaks comes along to become the "new Boston". Our leaders owe it to us all to take the success they've had luring the Beautiful People of Hollywood and turn it into creating better business opportunities for the rest of us.

Meanwhile, Back in the Happy Valley

Student leaders at UMass-Amherst are meeting today to determine whether or not they'll call for a 2 day walk-out set to begin on Thursday. What's their beef? Exorbitant fees and Gestapo-like dorm patrols by the Massachusetts State Police. I would normally laugh off this type of behavior as typical Happy Valley tomfoolery but this time I think these kids actually have a point.

Not too long ago I was sleeping til noon and enjoying three day weekends at our flagship state university. Unlike Governor Patrick I didn't have the pleasure of getting a fancy Harvard education, but I still have the ability to do basic arithmetic. For example, if you go on TV (yes, I'm talking about you, Mr. Romney) and announce to a cheering audience that you're cutting tuition at State U only to raise mandatory fees then students actually pay MORE, not LESS for their education.

Students that joined the Guard or won an Adams scholarship hoping for a free ride will be relieved to know that their $857/semester (in-state) is covered thanks to Uncle Sam. However, they're still on the hook for over $4,000/semester in mandatory fees in addition to room and board. The state is keeping tuition artificially low to force students to take out large loans to cover fees that aren't included in their tuition-only scholarships. The students are getting a bad deal and they know it.

While I'm not sure that staging a walk-out will have any lasting results, I do applaud them for trying. Personally I would've moved the strike to Mon-Tue in light of the upcoming holiday but then again I was never much of an activist. As far as the police presence in the dorms are concerned, don't bother trouble and trouble won't bother you (in other words, if you're going to get shitfaced off cheap vodka, do so quietly and behind closed doors). Pahkcah02 is with you on this one, UMass.

When Shzaam told me a year and a half ago that he tested positive for HIV, I kind of gave him the same reaction I would if he had told me that his dry cleaner ruined his favorite suit. While I can't say that I was entirely shocked by his news, it didn't really dawn on me that Shzaam could actually get really sick very quickly. Although there is no cure for HIV, I assumed that with all of the advances in medicine that pill popping and regular check ups would ensure that he continued to have a good quality of life for at least the next decade or so.

While medicine may manage the disease, it did little to manage Shzaam's willpower. Frustration with his doctors inability to do anything mounted as job opportunity after job opportunity fell through. His social life went from clubbing 2-3 times a week to juggling Action committee meetings and fighting MassHealth red tape. Impatience, boredom, and depression quickly set in as Shzaam completely lost the ability to control his life on his terms.

He made the decision to move back with his parents back in September. Plagued with a broken hip, this once healthy 37 year old can barely manage to get out of bed. While he's trying to remain upbeat, lymphoma and full-blown AIDS are in a battle to take over his body. During our visit yesterday he told me that the doctors informed him that he has two weeks left to live. After speaking with Queen Dee last night I completely lost it. I understand that we're not here on this earth permanently but I am so angry right now. I can't do anything except watch my friend suffer a slow and painful death and it's just not fair.

I'll miss our arguments about the Red Sox and the way that we would describe in detail what we ordered off the Bertucci's take out menu. I'll miss the way that he never, ever answered his cell phone but would respond to every e-mail in under 3 minutes. I'll always remember how he went out of his way to help me move into my condo and how handsome he looked in his suit at Liz and Ally's wedding.

Shzaam isn't dead yet and while I'm praying for a miracle, I am not expecting a Hollywood ending. How do you tell one of your dearest friends how much his friendship means to you? How do you tell him that hanging out with him on Fridays at Flashes, chatting over garlic fries and beer were some of the happiest moments of your adult life? Or that our flurry of daily e-mail exchanges were a beacon of light in an otherwise mundane work day? Whether he meant to or not, Shzaam reached out and touched a lot of folks and we are all better people because we knew him.

If you read just one thing today....

It takes a lot to amuse me. However, I cracked up so badly reading this that I almost threw up my Weight Watchers approved lunch. Check it out - it makes me 100% thankful that I didn't have to live through the 1970's.