Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Hump Day Updates
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Sweet Home Massachusetts
A conversation I had with my cab driver in Birmingham, AL yesterday:
Cabbie: You sound foreign. Where ya from?
Pahkcah02: I'm from Boston.
Cabbie: Boston, Ireland or Boston, England?
Pahkcah02: Actually, I'm from the Boston that's located in Massachusetts.
Cabbie: See! I knew youse was from somewhere in Europe.
Pahkcah02: Massachusetts is in the United States.
Cabbie: (blank look)
Pahkcah02: It's in the northern part, kind of near New York.
Cabbie: (another blank look). Yeah, but aren't y'all from Ireland or something?
Pahkcah02: (realizing that I'm not going to win this argument) Everyone in Boston is Irish. That's why I talk like this.
Somewhere in Alabama there's a cabbie that's convinced that Boston is over-run with tiny leprechauns pounding back Guinness's and looking for pots of gold. I either deserve a jury of my peers or an award from the Massachusetts Dept. of Tourism for perpetuating a stereo-type. Either way, next time our public schools are in need and there's a vote for Prop 2 1/2, it's got my whole-hearted support.
Cabbie: You sound foreign. Where ya from?
Pahkcah02: I'm from Boston.
Cabbie: Boston, Ireland or Boston, England?
Pahkcah02: Actually, I'm from the Boston that's located in Massachusetts.
Cabbie: See! I knew youse was from somewhere in Europe.
Pahkcah02: Massachusetts is in the United States.
Cabbie: (blank look)
Pahkcah02: It's in the northern part, kind of near New York.
Cabbie: (another blank look). Yeah, but aren't y'all from Ireland or something?
Pahkcah02: (realizing that I'm not going to win this argument) Everyone in Boston is Irish. That's why I talk like this.
Somewhere in Alabama there's a cabbie that's convinced that Boston is over-run with tiny leprechauns pounding back Guinness's and looking for pots of gold. I either deserve a jury of my peers or an award from the Massachusetts Dept. of Tourism for perpetuating a stereo-type. Either way, next time our public schools are in need and there's a vote for Prop 2 1/2, it's got my whole-hearted support.
Friday, January 23, 2009
Restaurant Review: Not Your Average Joe's
Restaurant: Not Your Average Joe's
Address: 16 Mazzeo Drive, Randolph, MA (other locations throughout MA)
Website: www.notyouraveragejoes.com
Rating: A-
When there's a 20 minute wait on a Wednesday night for a restaurant located in a Randolph strip mall, you know that you've found something special. Somewhat under-rated, the Not Your Average Joe's chain offers food as eclectic as what you'd expect to find in a Back Bay bistro with prices more in line with a neighborhood Applebee's.
Our attentive waitress immediately greeted us by taking our drink order and kept the Diet Cokes coming all night. We started off with a huge basket of Joe's ciabatta bread with an addictive parmesan olive oil dip. I then dove into the massive Not Your Average Chicken Oscar which featured two good size boneless chicken breasts layered over rice pilaf and topped with asparagus, scallops, artichoke hearts, shrimp, and a creamy garlic sauce. I ended up taking half of it home. Two of my friends ended up getting the same meal while A dared to try the Mustard-Crusted Chicken. Joe's was more than willing to accomodate her by swapping out mashed potatoes for pasta.
Still stuffed from dinner we took a pass on dessert. Next time I'll be cautious to cool it with the ciabatta bread so I can try the Peanut Butter Thing. The menu describes it as Joe’s claim to fame – peanut butter and chocolate chunks folded into vanilla ice cream and rolled in oreo cookie crumbs, topped with fresh whipped cream and drizzled with hot chocolate and caramel sauces tableside. Not a bad way to end a completely decadent meal.
The Not Your Average Joe's in Randolph is located on Mazzeo Drive (Route 139) a little past the Randolph cinema. If dinner and a movie is your thing, that Joe's location sells discounted movie passes for the nearby Showcase. There are over a dozen Joe's restaurants throughout suburban eastern Mass.
Address: 16 Mazzeo Drive, Randolph, MA (other locations throughout MA)
Website: www.notyouraveragejoes.com
Rating: A-
When there's a 20 minute wait on a Wednesday night for a restaurant located in a Randolph strip mall, you know that you've found something special. Somewhat under-rated, the Not Your Average Joe's chain offers food as eclectic as what you'd expect to find in a Back Bay bistro with prices more in line with a neighborhood Applebee's.
Our attentive waitress immediately greeted us by taking our drink order and kept the Diet Cokes coming all night. We started off with a huge basket of Joe's ciabatta bread with an addictive parmesan olive oil dip. I then dove into the massive Not Your Average Chicken Oscar which featured two good size boneless chicken breasts layered over rice pilaf and topped with asparagus, scallops, artichoke hearts, shrimp, and a creamy garlic sauce. I ended up taking half of it home. Two of my friends ended up getting the same meal while A dared to try the Mustard-Crusted Chicken. Joe's was more than willing to accomodate her by swapping out mashed potatoes for pasta.
Still stuffed from dinner we took a pass on dessert. Next time I'll be cautious to cool it with the ciabatta bread so I can try the Peanut Butter Thing. The menu describes it as Joe’s claim to fame – peanut butter and chocolate chunks folded into vanilla ice cream and rolled in oreo cookie crumbs, topped with fresh whipped cream and drizzled with hot chocolate and caramel sauces tableside. Not a bad way to end a completely decadent meal.
The Not Your Average Joe's in Randolph is located on Mazzeo Drive (Route 139) a little past the Randolph cinema. If dinner and a movie is your thing, that Joe's location sells discounted movie passes for the nearby Showcase. There are over a dozen Joe's restaurants throughout suburban eastern Mass.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Save the Striar
Being the wanna-be townie that I am, I've been keeping tabs on the Stoughton Jewish Community Center as it transitions itself into a YMCA this March. A new group dedicated to saving the Striar JCC was created after they encountered resistance from the Boston Combined Jewish Philanthropies (CJP). It appears that CJP is pulling out of their originial agreement to provide Jewish programming for senior on the South Shore and is shifting the burden to local synagogues.
I've always had a love/hate relationship with the Boston CJP. While they do provide much-needed social programming for the greater-Boston Jewish community, the vast majority of those programs do not take place south of Boston. Despite the fact that tens of thousands of Jews live south of town (and donate to CJP), we are routintely ignored by the CJP who favor the wealthier metro west suburbs.
The Stoughton JCC was built with donations gathered by Boston's South Shore Jewish community. As if it weren't bad enough that we're losing our local J, the CJP is taking the proceeds from a building that we paid for and not putting it back into our community. Apparently acting like a bunch of gonifs isn't where the CJP's shadiness ends. According the Stoughton Journal the CJP has gone so far as to stonewall efforts by local community organizers to poll current JCC members on programs that they would like to see continued.
Jews south of Boston continue to give generously to the CJP though for the life of me I can't figure out why. South Shore Jews are constantly treated like second class citizens by the very organizations that were designed to help us. The fact that we elect to live away from the shtetls of Newton or Brookline does not make us any less deserving of the programs that we so continue to so generously support. I will rally behind any effort to rebuild a South Shore Jewish Community Center so long as the CJP is not directly involved.
I've always had a love/hate relationship with the Boston CJP. While they do provide much-needed social programming for the greater-Boston Jewish community, the vast majority of those programs do not take place south of Boston. Despite the fact that tens of thousands of Jews live south of town (and donate to CJP), we are routintely ignored by the CJP who favor the wealthier metro west suburbs.
The Stoughton JCC was built with donations gathered by Boston's South Shore Jewish community. As if it weren't bad enough that we're losing our local J, the CJP is taking the proceeds from a building that we paid for and not putting it back into our community. Apparently acting like a bunch of gonifs isn't where the CJP's shadiness ends. According the Stoughton Journal the CJP has gone so far as to stonewall efforts by local community organizers to poll current JCC members on programs that they would like to see continued.
Jews south of Boston continue to give generously to the CJP though for the life of me I can't figure out why. South Shore Jews are constantly treated like second class citizens by the very organizations that were designed to help us. The fact that we elect to live away from the shtetls of Newton or Brookline does not make us any less deserving of the programs that we so continue to so generously support. I will rally behind any effort to rebuild a South Shore Jewish Community Center so long as the CJP is not directly involved.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Wicked Good Salmon
Because we love our routine, daily lives, the Queen Dee and I have a ritual that involves salmon followed by cheesy TV. After a month-long Christmas hiatus, Dee Dee Red Lined it over last night for the January edition. I generally buy my salmon in bulk at BJ's (they take the skin off then wrap them in individual portions) but I was low on side dishes and veggies. A quick jaunt over to the Cradle of Civilization (aka: Cobbs Corner) solved that.
The Main Course is a locally owned high end market in Cobbs Corner that sells everything from produce to frozen pizza. Dee loves cheese and wanted to somehow incorporate cheese into the salmon dish. After badgering the men behind the counter, they gave us the most wonderful suggestion ever - salmon with spinach and feta. It goes a little something like this:
Chop up fresh spinach and mix it up good with feta, a little melted butter, and a squirt of lemon juice. Layer the mix over the salmon and bake at 350 for about 20 minutes. I nuked a bag of mashed potatoes for a side dish and we had ourselves a tasty meal that satisfied us to the core and requires minimal clean up. Combine the salmon with a hard core Jeopardy competition and you've got yourself an over-the-top Tuesday night.
The Main Course is a locally owned high end market in Cobbs Corner that sells everything from produce to frozen pizza. Dee loves cheese and wanted to somehow incorporate cheese into the salmon dish. After badgering the men behind the counter, they gave us the most wonderful suggestion ever - salmon with spinach and feta. It goes a little something like this:
Chop up fresh spinach and mix it up good with feta, a little melted butter, and a squirt of lemon juice. Layer the mix over the salmon and bake at 350 for about 20 minutes. I nuked a bag of mashed potatoes for a side dish and we had ourselves a tasty meal that satisfied us to the core and requires minimal clean up. Combine the salmon with a hard core Jeopardy competition and you've got yourself an over-the-top Tuesday night.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Florida Moments Day 3: The Final Frontier
Zayde's Internet homepage keeps track of the current temperature in Randolph, which he likes to check several times a day. South Florida's 68 degree highs is unseasonably cold for the region, though it is still about 68 degrees warmer than the temperature in South Massachusetts. While it wasn't exactly a beach day, we headed over to John G's in Lake Worth for fish and chips. The line for for a table at John G's extended out the door to the edge of the sidewalk but Zayde and Bronx didn't pose any issue to waiting outside in the miserable, freezing cold.
I then headed down to Century Village (aka: Cemetary Village) to meet up with Robyn du Montreal's family. Century Village is home to 15,000 seniors who are so crucial to Florida politics that Bill Clinton made a campaign stop during the '92 campaign. We headed over to the mall in Boca to knock back some beers and dine at the ever-consistent CPK. Robyn's boys managed to sleep for a bit before getting cranky and demanding food. While holding her 5 month old son one passer-byer gushed over how much we look alike. I still stand by my remark that I can either handle a husband or children, but certainly not both.
Zayde lent me his pimp '07 Malibu and took Bronx's Mercury to their intense Friday night gin rummy session. I managed to beat them home, ice the gum off my shoe (thanks for the tip, Robs), and pack up all my gear in anticipation of my 11:15am Saturday flight. After a few days of warm weather, non-chapped hands, and constant work e-mails, I'm pretty psyched to get back to reality and Attorney Lee's 16 + 11 bash.
I then headed down to Century Village (aka: Cemetary Village) to meet up with Robyn du Montreal's family. Century Village is home to 15,000 seniors who are so crucial to Florida politics that Bill Clinton made a campaign stop during the '92 campaign. We headed over to the mall in Boca to knock back some beers and dine at the ever-consistent CPK. Robyn's boys managed to sleep for a bit before getting cranky and demanding food. While holding her 5 month old son one passer-byer gushed over how much we look alike. I still stand by my remark that I can either handle a husband or children, but certainly not both.
Zayde lent me his pimp '07 Malibu and took Bronx's Mercury to their intense Friday night gin rummy session. I managed to beat them home, ice the gum off my shoe (thanks for the tip, Robs), and pack up all my gear in anticipation of my 11:15am Saturday flight. After a few days of warm weather, non-chapped hands, and constant work e-mails, I'm pretty psyched to get back to reality and Attorney Lee's 16 + 11 bash.
Friday, January 16, 2009
Florida Moments Day 2: Where Has All The Caffeine Gone?
Zayde left bright and early to get some bloodwork, which meant that I was left to my own devices to gather and hunt my own breakfast. Since skipping breakfast would result in a lecture I popped a bagel into the toaster and started to scavenge for coffee. Zayde keeps two tupperware containers of coffee, one which I was certain was decaf. Panicked about the 50/50 odds of not having caffeing run through my veins stat, I called my father in a desperate plea for help. Unfortunately he couldn't tell me which container contained the magic beans, but he did advise me to skip the coffee, pour a scotch, and call it a morning. It turns out that both containers contain a hybrid of half decaf half regular because really, who needs all that caffeine in the morning (I do! I do!!)?
For lunch we headed over to Ruby Tuesdays as my aunt and Bronx enjoy the all you can eat salad bar. They almost fell off their chairs when the enterprising waitress announced that the salad bar costs $7.95 BUT for $1 extra you can add a second course of chicken pot pie with caprese or 2 burger sliders with fries. That's basically 3 meals for one to the average South Floridian retiree and makes it an even fancier bargain than yesterday's $5.95 diner special.
Zayde discovered You Tube (scary!) so we spent a good 20 minutes watching videos of people singing Yiddish folksongs. There are no doctor's appointments tomorrow, which makes it a pretty quiet day. If I can put headphones on fast enough to drown out the screams that it's too cold to be outside (it should be in the high 60's), I hope to take a couple of laps around the gated retirement community. It should be a nice way to end my last full day of double digit temperatures.
For lunch we headed over to Ruby Tuesdays as my aunt and Bronx enjoy the all you can eat salad bar. They almost fell off their chairs when the enterprising waitress announced that the salad bar costs $7.95 BUT for $1 extra you can add a second course of chicken pot pie with caprese or 2 burger sliders with fries. That's basically 3 meals for one to the average South Floridian retiree and makes it an even fancier bargain than yesterday's $5.95 diner special.
Zayde discovered You Tube (scary!) so we spent a good 20 minutes watching videos of people singing Yiddish folksongs. There are no doctor's appointments tomorrow, which makes it a pretty quiet day. If I can put headphones on fast enough to drown out the screams that it's too cold to be outside (it should be in the high 60's), I hope to take a couple of laps around the gated retirement community. It should be a nice way to end my last full day of double digit temperatures.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Florida Moments Day 1: Lunch at the Diner
Zayde and his girlfriend (we’ll call her Bronx) were nice enough to take me out for lunch after my flight. After much argument about various reviews they had read about in the Bible (aka: the Palm Beach Post), it was decided that we would dine at the 3G Deli in Boynton Beach. Situated inside a strip mall, the 3G offers valet parking so one doesn’t have to navigate the scary parking lot of larger than life Lincolns and Chryslers. After scanning the crowd of people outside 3G, Zayde decided that he didn’t want to wait “outside in the freezing cold weather with the rest of the schmucks”. Current temp in Palm Beach County: 72 and sunny.
We descended upon a somewhat crowded Odyssey Diner, despite it being the unconventional lunching hour of 1pm. The Odyssey offers a lunch special consisting of a bowl of soup (your choice of chicken noodle, matzoh ball, or navy bean….apparently they got their demographics right), a sandwich, pickle, potato salad, and your choice of coffee or tea for $5.95. How can you beat that? You can’t. We argued about it the entire length of lunch and decided that had the Odyssey offered merely a bowl of soup and a sandwich for $5.95 then that would be a bargain, but to offer your choice of coffee or tea? You couldn’t beat that one with a stick.
I thought of ordering a Diet Coke, which was clearly not included in the lunch special. Rather than be reminded by Bronx that they had soda at home, I stuck with a refreshing glass of South Florida tap water. While dining I spied a couple decked out in t-shirts advertising a bike shop from New Jersey squirreling their soup and half a sandwich into take out containers, food that’s most likely to be banished to their freezer never to be seen again. Bronx ended up taking half her sandwich home which I have a sneaking suspicion she’ll try to convince me to eat at a later point this week. By the time we left the restaurant at 2 the dinner crowd was already starting to swarm the place.
What’s up for Day 2? Not sure but it’s likely to involve a lot of pampering by Zayde and Bronx all in the comfort of 70 degree weather. A girl could get used to this place……
We descended upon a somewhat crowded Odyssey Diner, despite it being the unconventional lunching hour of 1pm. The Odyssey offers a lunch special consisting of a bowl of soup (your choice of chicken noodle, matzoh ball, or navy bean….apparently they got their demographics right), a sandwich, pickle, potato salad, and your choice of coffee or tea for $5.95. How can you beat that? You can’t. We argued about it the entire length of lunch and decided that had the Odyssey offered merely a bowl of soup and a sandwich for $5.95 then that would be a bargain, but to offer your choice of coffee or tea? You couldn’t beat that one with a stick.
I thought of ordering a Diet Coke, which was clearly not included in the lunch special. Rather than be reminded by Bronx that they had soda at home, I stuck with a refreshing glass of South Florida tap water. While dining I spied a couple decked out in t-shirts advertising a bike shop from New Jersey squirreling their soup and half a sandwich into take out containers, food that’s most likely to be banished to their freezer never to be seen again. Bronx ended up taking half her sandwich home which I have a sneaking suspicion she’ll try to convince me to eat at a later point this week. By the time we left the restaurant at 2 the dinner crowd was already starting to swarm the place.
What’s up for Day 2? Not sure but it’s likely to involve a lot of pampering by Zayde and Bronx all in the comfort of 70 degree weather. A girl could get used to this place……
Thursday, January 8, 2009
The Best Craigslist Ad Ever
NINJA HAULER: 2005 Nissan Xterra - $12900 (Ronan / Lake County )
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reply to: sale-945361858@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2008-12-04, 5:15PM MST
OK, let me start off by saying this Xterra is only available for purchase by the manliest of men (or women). My friend, if it was possible for a vehicle to sprout chest hair and a five o'clock shadow, this Nissan would look like Tom Selleck. It is just that manly.
It was never intended to drive to the mall so you can pick up that adorable shirt at Abercrombie & Fitch that you had your eye on. It wasn't meant to transport you to yoga class or Linens & Things. No, that's what your Prius is for. If that's the kind of car you're looking for, then just do us all a favor and stop reading right now. I mean it. Just stop.
This car was engineered by 3rd degree ninja super-warriors in the highest mountains of Japan to serve the needs of the man that cheats death on a daily basis. They didn't even consider superfluous nancy boy amenities like navigation systems (real men don't get lost), heated leather seats (a real man doesn't let anything warm his butt), or On Star (real men don't even know what the hell On Star is).
No, this brute comes with the things us testosterone-fueled super action junkies need. It has a 265 HP engine to outrun the cops. It's got special blood/gore resistant upholstery. It even has a first-aid kit in the back. You know what the first aid kit has in it? A pint of whiskey, a stitch-your-own-wound kit and a hunk of leather to bite down on when you're operating on yourself. The Xterra also has an automatic transmission so if you're being chased by Libyan terrorists, you'll still be able to shoot your machine gun out the window and drive at the same time. It's saved my bacon more than once.
It has room for you and the four hotties you picked up on the way to the gym to blast your pecs and hammer your glutes. There's a tow hitch to pull your 50 caliber anti-Taliban, self cooling machine gun. I also just put in a new windshield to replace the one that got shot out by The Man.
My price on this bad boy is an incredibly low $12,900, but I'll entertain reasonable offers. And by reasonable, I mean don't walk up and tell me you'll give me $5,000 for it. That's liable to earn you a Burmese-roundhouse-sphincter-kick with a follow up three fingered eye-jab. Would it hurt? Hell yeah. Let's just say you won't be the prettiest guy at the Coldplay concert anymore.
There's only 69,000 miles on this four-wheeled hellcat from Planet Kickass. Trust me, it will outlive you and the offspring that will carry your name. It will live on as a monument to your machismo.
Now, go look in the mirror and tell me what you see. If it's a rugged, no holds barred, super brute he-man macho Chuck Norris stunt double, then contact me. I might be out hang-gliding or BASE jumping or just chilling with my ladies, but I'll get back to you. And when I do, we'll talk about a price over a nice glass of Schmidt while we listen to Johnny Cash.
To sweeten the deal a little, I'm throwing in this pair of MC Hammer pants for the man with rippling quads that can't fit into regular pants. Yeah, you heard me. FREE MC Hammer pants.
Rock on.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reply to: sale-945361858@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2008-12-04, 5:15PM MST
OK, let me start off by saying this Xterra is only available for purchase by the manliest of men (or women). My friend, if it was possible for a vehicle to sprout chest hair and a five o'clock shadow, this Nissan would look like Tom Selleck. It is just that manly.
It was never intended to drive to the mall so you can pick up that adorable shirt at Abercrombie & Fitch that you had your eye on. It wasn't meant to transport you to yoga class or Linens & Things. No, that's what your Prius is for. If that's the kind of car you're looking for, then just do us all a favor and stop reading right now. I mean it. Just stop.
This car was engineered by 3rd degree ninja super-warriors in the highest mountains of Japan to serve the needs of the man that cheats death on a daily basis. They didn't even consider superfluous nancy boy amenities like navigation systems (real men don't get lost), heated leather seats (a real man doesn't let anything warm his butt), or On Star (real men don't even know what the hell On Star is).
No, this brute comes with the things us testosterone-fueled super action junkies need. It has a 265 HP engine to outrun the cops. It's got special blood/gore resistant upholstery. It even has a first-aid kit in the back. You know what the first aid kit has in it? A pint of whiskey, a stitch-your-own-wound kit and a hunk of leather to bite down on when you're operating on yourself. The Xterra also has an automatic transmission so if you're being chased by Libyan terrorists, you'll still be able to shoot your machine gun out the window and drive at the same time. It's saved my bacon more than once.
It has room for you and the four hotties you picked up on the way to the gym to blast your pecs and hammer your glutes. There's a tow hitch to pull your 50 caliber anti-Taliban, self cooling machine gun. I also just put in a new windshield to replace the one that got shot out by The Man.
My price on this bad boy is an incredibly low $12,900, but I'll entertain reasonable offers. And by reasonable, I mean don't walk up and tell me you'll give me $5,000 for it. That's liable to earn you a Burmese-roundhouse-sphincter-kick with a follow up three fingered eye-jab. Would it hurt? Hell yeah. Let's just say you won't be the prettiest guy at the Coldplay concert anymore.
There's only 69,000 miles on this four-wheeled hellcat from Planet Kickass. Trust me, it will outlive you and the offspring that will carry your name. It will live on as a monument to your machismo.
Now, go look in the mirror and tell me what you see. If it's a rugged, no holds barred, super brute he-man macho Chuck Norris stunt double, then contact me. I might be out hang-gliding or BASE jumping or just chilling with my ladies, but I'll get back to you. And when I do, we'll talk about a price over a nice glass of Schmidt while we listen to Johnny Cash.
To sweeten the deal a little, I'm throwing in this pair of MC Hammer pants for the man with rippling quads that can't fit into regular pants. Yeah, you heard me. FREE MC Hammer pants.
Rock on.
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