When I was a 19 year old sophomore at UMass, I met and fell in love with a senior classmate from Long Island. We were inseparable through fall and spring semester and continued our relationship when he moved back home to work in New York City. Eventually the logistical challenges proved to be too much. We broke up about a year after we met but remained as friendly as one can be when they lose their first love.
Still on speaking terms with him two years later, my sorority sister announces (over the phone) that she is moving from DC to NY to pursue a relationship with my ex. I was pretty hurt that neither one of them bothered to tell me, nor did they even attempt to break the news to me in a semi-tactful manner. I knew that they'd be perfect for each other but their lack of sensitivity didn't even give me the opportunity to be involved in either of their lives. I ended up losing two friends as a result.
I obviously got over it and they eventually did decide to get married. That would normally be the end of the story except we happen to have a mutual friend that was in town this weekend. Since this couple now lives in Stoughton and I'm bound to run into them at CVS, I figured that her visit might give us the opportunity to be civilized and get re-acquainted.
As women a lot of us often ponder what would've happened if they had remained with their ex. They wax nostalgically about the good times they had and how great it felt to be part of a relationship. They often forget how his much his annoying habits bugged you and that your girlfriends may have been right about him all along. While I don't think that my ex is a bad person, he definitely wasn't right for me. The memories of his NY-superiority attitude immediately came rushing back and it deeply irritated me. While it was nice to catch up with him over bowling and a beer, I was grateful that he was going home with the love of his life, and that the love of his life wasn't me.
Ladies, your relationships end for a reason. Sometimes it just isn't right and it isn't anybody's fault. Men do not have the evolutionary capability to change and it's something as women that we all have to deal with. I'm lucky that I'll always have decent memories of my first love, but I'm happy that it wasn't my last. Assuming I don't have anything incriminating in my cart, running into him at CVS may not be so bad after all.
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1 comment:
Not that it is any secret to anyone - but you my friend, are a better person then I...and I respect you so much for your maturity and reason - regardless of all things happening for the better - I still would have wanted to scratch both their eyes out...like I said, you are a far better and more mature person then I...this is one of the many reasons I keep you around!
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