The towniest of all townie holidays is upon us and the local selectman elections are certainly heating up. On April 7th, about 10% (if we're lucky!) of the electorate will head to the polls to cast their votes for the wicked local pol they feel best represents their personal, professional, and financial self interests. If "all politics is local", as the late Sen. Tip O'Neil once bemused, then the local selectman races certainly impact us more than November's presidential race.
Lawn signs dot the suburban landscape of Canton, and apparently there are three people running for two coveted selectman seats. My dad is volunteering for a campaign in Stoughton (and proudly displays a lawn sign so all 12 cars that drive by my childhood home know exactly who he's voting for) which has sparked my interest in the selectman race in my new hometown.
Last year Canton passed a 2 1/2 override which had a direct, $500 a year impact on me. This time around the biggest local issue in my life is the fact that the right hand cut out lane between Washington and Bolivar has been replaced with a ridiculously oversized sidewalk. Additionally, the new (state funded!) traffic pattern/quagmire in the center of town means that I often have to park upwards of 25 feet from Takara. Sometimes it's so bad that I'm forced to park on the opposite of the street, which means that I have to bang an illegal u-ey in order to avoid a light going back to my place. Heaven forbid my uncooked fish turn cold during this stressful process.
(My life is complicated, I know.)
Two of the local pols are incumbants while the third candidate is looking to make an strategic vertical move from the planning board to selectman. One of the incumbants, Avril Elkort, is an out-of-the-closet Republican, which in Canton is the equivalent to taking out a Pennysaver ad to announce that you have a venereal disease. She's definitely got my vote.
Jeremy Comeau, the wanna-be selectman from the planning board, is the other candidate I'm leaning towards. His website decries the lack of parking in front of the local packie (an issue near and dear to my heart!) as well as the dangers of turning in and out of the 7-11 convenience store. Since I don't have kids, I consider any politician who comprehends that the balance between safety and grabbing a party size bag of Doritos is absolutely as crucial to Canton as the quality of public education, to be an honest and genuine person. I also happen to like the style of glasses he's sporting in his homepage photo.
There it is, folks. Just when you thought petty high school student government elections were forever out of your life, you marvel upon the fact that selectman races are a bi-annual occurance. I can hardly wait to stand and be counted among the 50 voters who will likely jam my polling precinct this April 7.
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3 comments:
Just when I thought I'd possibly read your finest work, you totally totally blow that notion out of the water.
You are a fine and hilarious writer Sher. I'm choking on my coffee @ my local coffee place whilst getting the "This Week in Southie" ready for tonight. I'll have you know there are many "times" coming up this weekend if campaign season in Canton is too much for you right now.
Not that there is too much difference but Tip was a Rep. and not a Sen..
Ah, sorry. My last comment was meant to be windier. I had to close it out to talk to a local resident concerned about his friend's drug addiction.
Those are some local issues we gripe about here now that winter's over and the parking civil war has subsided.
My vote is with the packie parking guy. I also want Doritos now.
I hope there's an exciting recount - I want to spend Election Night in Canton. Any fancy balls to go to? Think CNN will divide the town into red/blue neighborhoods??
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