In a clutch moment, I'd rather drive a standard

If you know my real name and have hung out with me recently, you're officially on notice. Starting this summer, my new philanthropic effort is going to include teaching all you standard transmissions virgins the fine art of popping a clutch and rolling into first.

After a year and a half hiatus of driving a sports car with an automatic transmission (a complete oxymoron), I'm back driving stick with a vengeance. I am not super religious, but I firmly believe that God created empty parking lots to teach the uninitiated the mechanics of driving with two hands and two feet. You may stall, and I may yell (out of love, not hate) but if you're up for the challenge, I think you will be wicked excited to have mastered an important life skill. Afterall, if you think that adjusting your lipstick, driving, and sending a text message is multi-tasking, wait until you try it while downshifting. It's practically poetic, my friends.

Surely I understand that driving a car with a standard transmission is easier to avoid than jury duty. However, like so many other life skills it gives you options. It gives you the option to use less gas by driving a more fuel efficient car. It gives you the option of saving money by not upgrading to an automatic transmission. It gives you the option of being able to negotiate the price of a car with a stick shift because the salesman knows that they're much harder to sell. More importantly, it gives me the option of throwing you my keys and shouting "no, it's your turn to make the beer run!".

If you're up for the challenge, give me a holler.