Messin' With Texas

Last night I watched Fab 5: The Texas Cheerleaders Scandal on Lifetime. I had read about the Fab 5 in Newsweek last year when the story of over-privileged cheerleaders from a small town in Texas became a somewhat national debate. Mimicking a squad of real life "Mean Girls", a group of popular cheerleaders routinely used their cell phones in class, drank in the parking lot, and disrespected teachers. The Troll often tells of similar tales in her urban Maryland school district but this story had a unique twist - the head mean girl just so happened to the be the daughter of the high school principal.

I've never been to Texas but the Fab 5 story is the type of juicy gossip that people north of the Mason Dixon line love to read about. As far as we're concerned, cheerleaders behaving badly, high school football teams using taxpayer money to charter planes for high school football matches, and 16 year old quarterbacks being served at bars is business as usual in the Lone Star state. While I'm sure that these mind-boggling acts are rooted in stereo-types, I for the life of me can't figure out if there are normal Texans who are deeply pissed-off about their portrayal in film or if this actually down home Texas life.

Luckily for us uptight Yankee folk, the Lifetime network understands our Texas obsession and produces original movies based on true stories to feed our fetish. Some of my personal favorites include a film about Diane Zamora, the Navy cadet who murdered a Texas cheerleader for flirting with her boyfriend as well as the story about the story of girls in juvie who overcome adversity and gang life by becoming Texas state champs in the 400 relay. Hallmark Hall of Fame movies they ain't. If these events hadn't happened in Texas, I might not believe that they were even remotely true.

As far as I know Lifetime hasn't made any heart-warming films about life in Massachusetts. Apparently paying a lot of money to live in cold weather hasn't inspired an original movie - yet. If I want some northeast action I have to watch one of the several dozen movies they've made about women married to the New York mob. Apparently it's their second favorite genre of original movie behind stories that take place in Texas.