Learn The Rules, Masshole

As a motorist, I am slowly getting used to the growing number of bicyclists, especially when I travel inside the city of Boston. When I drove in last week I was shocked to witness that driving a Huffy in an unsafe, and douchebag-like manner isn't just for bike couriers anymore. I always suspected that cyclists were subject to the same laws as motorists, and I've managed to find proof in page 105 of the Massachusetts Driving Handbook. That means it's just as verbatim for cyclists to run through red lights, disregard hand signals, and dodge pedestrians in crosswalks as it is for those driving vehicles. See for yourself (with comments):


When you are riding a bicycle on public ways, state law subjects you to the same basic laws and regulations that apply to motor vehicle operators.

• You must obey all traffic signs and signals, ride single file with the flow of traffic, and yield to pedestrians. (pahkcah 02 translation: nobody likes a douchebag)
• You must ride on the right side of the roadway, unless you are turning left. To turn left, signal, look, and move into the lane closest to the center line. (pahkcah02 translation: we live in America, and in America we drive on the RIGHT side of the road. We fought wars to keep left-handed driving off of this continent. Biking on the left simply because it's less congested/more convenient is almost an act of treason in my book.))
• It is strongly recommended that you avoid listening to headphones while riding.(pahkcah02 note: You shouldn't do this while driving a vehicle either)
• Before entering or crossing a roadway, you should stop, look left, look right, and look left again for traffic—even if it is a one-way street.(pahkcah02 alert: because manners matter!)
• When preparing to merge, stop, or turn, use hand signals to communicate your intentions to other roadway users. You may use either hand to signal.(pahkcah02 interpretation: You'll look like a huge dork while doing this and we'll probably mock you from behind our windshields but at least we won't clip you when you flex your left arm to inform us that you're taking a right.))
• Use an audible signal bell, horn, or your voice to warn pedestrians.(pahkcah02: or better yet, just bang on our hoods and yell "hey, I'm cyclin' here!")
• For nighttime operation, your bike must be equipped with a white headlight, red taillight, and/or rear reflector, pedal reflectors, and side reflectors. In addition, you must wear reflective ankle bands.(pahkcah02: Go Go Gadget Night vision is no substitute for safety)
• You may use sidewalks outside business districts, unless there is a local ordinance prohibiting it.(pahkcah02 kudos: actually, most of you are pretty good at obeying this rule.)
• When operating on a sidewalk, you must yield the right of way to pedestrians.(pahkcah02 simple math: just because pedestrians have two feet and bicycles have two wheels does not mean that a bike = being a pedestrian)

Maybe you think I'm bashing cyclists for trying to get fit/be green/not use gas but that's really not the case. I take my role as a driver very seriously and wholeheartedly believe that driving is a privilege and not a right. I've been driving in Boston for over a decade and I am here to inform you that it is a downright scary and hostile environment. If you rear-end a car while travelling 10 miles an hour you'll probably only render cosmetic damage. If you hit an errant cyclists that is not paying attention at 10 mph then some one's going to end up in the hospital. That is an insanely scary prospect for anyone.

Many of our roads are over-crowded and not conducive to driving. In a world full of rainbows and unicorns there would be no need for cars and all of the world's problems would be solved. In reality, that is never, ever going to happen. Motorists need to smarten up and pay attention; cyclists need to memorize page 105 and understand they are subject to the same laws and courtesies as their gas guzzling road hogs.

Happy motoring.