Zayde Getting Married

The Troll *finally* closed on her condo on Thursday and since I'm a little up in the air right now as far as free time, I figured I'd hop the Saturday, 9am flight down to Baltimore to check out her new digs. I was immediately put to work schlepping boxes up three flights of stairs, including a 100lb+ TV stand in the summer Southern heat (91F and climbing). After the schelpping came the fun part: Chic-Fil-A and watching her spend lots of money on a TV and living room set. As an extra bonus the Troll let me use my rude Yankee ways to beat the crap out of the furniture salesmen (she saved 10% on some of her furniture). We then lugged a 42" TV up the 3 flights of stairs except this time there's was an extra bounce in our step. After a long day of running around like idiots in the oppressive humidity (honestly? How do people live down there???) one undeniable fact remains: the twins from Toughtown are totally un-fucking-stoppable.

Zayde called us a few weeks ago to announce the happy news: he and Bronx were officially engaged. The wedding took place on Long Island yesterday, which made the trip to Baltimore extra convenient since the Troll and I were going to have to drive there anyways. Since Zayde and Bronx didn't want to change anything legally, they spoke to the rabbi and he agreed to do a committment ceremony. To my surprise, it was a full-blown Jewish ceremony complete with a katuba (religious marriage certificate) and everything.

After the ceremony they brought out platters of kosher deli, which is probably the only redeeming quality about Long Island (besides Bagel Boss). Tons obnoxious people crammed one hour outside of NYC shell out huge bucks for a 1950's era three bedroom home on a quarter acre lot. On top of that they all park on the street (why park in the driveway when you can inconvenience everyone else?) drive like dangerous assholes because if they don't manage to kill someone they may save 2 seconds, and walk around like they're constantly looking for a fight. Fran Drescher's family in the Nanny? Yeah, she seriously wasn't making that shit up. If a Bostonian goes to Long Island and doesn't immediately think "what the fuck is wrong with all of these people?" then they certainly don't deserve to live in our beloved state.

That being said, Bronx's friend and relatives all appear to be very nice people. One woman was a dead ringer for Susie Essman (Jeff Greene's wife on Curb Your Enthusiasm) - it was seriously the funniest thing that I've ever seen.

On a totally unrelated note, I'm hoping to spread other pieces of fun news throughout the week. Stay tuned....