Teaching An Old Dog New Tricks

I turned the big 2-nine on Saturday, and after partying my yellow dress ass off I entered the ranks of the middle aged by pouring coffee into a travel mug and starting my new corporate job yesterday. I am extremely lucky to have found a fantastic position! at a great company!, with wonderful benefits! and room to develop professionally! However, in spite of this tremendous opportunity, I hasn't stopped me from feeling like Ray Liotta at the end of Goodfellas - at least not completely. After spending three years as a vital part of a small business operation I developed an insanely large ego, all of which was snatched out of me as I sat in traffic on Route 128 yesterday morning -sigh - just like everybody else.

(Of course everybody else generally gets paid what they're owed on time, so if this is the case with my new job (which I strongly suspect it is), then I'm a-ok with marching rank and file with the rest of the working masses.)

Think the North Koreans have it bad with non-stop propaganda piped into their homes 24-7? Try listening to 60 hours a week of adult contemporary pop over the office Musak system. I've read up on the ethics code, dress code, harassment (or rather anti-harassment) code, and fire code. Unlike my last job, it turns out that I'm expected to wear shoes, keep my mouth shut, and listen to an endless loop of the Meet The Beatles album from the safety and comfort of my cubicle. As long as the coffee from the travel mug doesn't run out before 8am, I should be good to go.

This week promises to be filled with orientations, parking permits, ID badges, and cubicle tours. I'll managed to squeeze in training seminars, team bonding, trips to the cafeteria salad bar, and lots and lots of traffic. It's a schedule I knew and loved for a long time before my previous job though juggling it all isn't as hard as I remember. Each morning from tomorrow until eternity I'll polish my heels, iron my suit, and stuff myself into pantyhose because despite all the traffic and office politicking, this Office Space life is likely one I was born to lead.